I Remember Everything
by vampirehamster
Summary: A Song-fic One-shot about Luke Castellan's thoughts when in the Underworld. Deviates from canon as Luke is not blessed by his father, Hermes, at his death, so he is send to the Underworld to be punished. The song used is 'Remember Everything' by Five Finger Death Punch. Rated T for mild swearing. Enjoy!


**This is my first song-fic and my first submission to this fandom which I love. **

**This is not true to canon, in this Luke was not blessed by his father, Hermes, and so did not earn the right to go to Elysium or to be reincarnated and try for the Isles of the Blest, as he said he would. He therefore did not repent before his death, and so his soul could expect punishment in the Underworld.**

**The song used here is 'Remember Everything' by Five Finger Death Punch.**

Walking alone on the fields of Asphodel was lonely; those who were milling around had no idea who they were in life so they just wandering around paying attention to nothing in particular. All except for one. One soul still retained memories of its life among the living, one soul wandered among these shades with its memories intact unable to do anything but walk over the black grass amongst the withered trees and remember.

This soul which carried the name of Luke Castellan when in life was now nothing but a shell, a shade, with nothing to do but remember.

Those who knew Luke in life expected him to be on the Fields of Punishment now, being forced to continuously carry out menial impossible tasks or being tortured, but instead Luke was wandering with the souls who had committed neither good nor evil deeds in life. Only Hades and Luke himself knew why he was here. When Luke had left the mortal world he had passed down the river Styx like every other soul ahead of him, but that's where the similarities ended. Instead of facing the judgement panel, Luke faced Hades himself, Hades had decided on a punishment perfectly suited for Luke. Luke's actions may have been considered evil, but Hades knew that during the battle even Luke had developed a conscience, he could feel guilt, and that would be the best punishment for eternity. Luke was then personally escorted from Hades' palace to the farthest corner of the fields of Asphodel, that adjacent to Elysium so that Luke would be able to see those who had reached Elysium, which would include many of the demigods Luke had known in life, as an extra punishment. He would be able to see them but never able to join them.

Hades presence had caused a stir amongst many, but those who were Luke's company now had not even noticed.

Luke did not know how long he had been walking, there was no sun or moon with which to measure time, he just kept thinking.

He was definitely guilty; those feelings permeated all of his thoughts. He had found a song though which summed up his feelings, he had been singing it softly to himself for the past while.

_Oh, dear Mother, I love you_

_I'm sorry, I wasn't good enough_

I really did love you Mother, but I was never very good at showing my emotions. Especially when you decided you were strong enough to take the spirit of the Oracle, you couldn't and the only one who tried to convince you was the one being I hated, and even he couldn't. You left me alone, believing that I didn't have a father.

_Dear Father, forgive me_

'_Cause in your eyes I never added up_

_In my heart I know I failed you, but you left me here alone_

Father, Hermes, I'm sorry. I thought you had abandoned me. But to be fair, I never did meet you. I was claimed, fair enough, but most children want to meet their fathers, knowing simply who they are is not a consolation. I am truly sorry for my actions, I also hope that my last wish will prevent more demigods feeling like me. I respect you father, and I wish we could have had a better relationship._  
_

_If I could hold back the rain, would you numb the pain?_

'_Cause I remember everything._

_If I could help you forget, would you take my regrets?_

'_Cause I remember everything._

Yes I remember.

_Oh, dear brother, just don't hate me_

_For never standing by you or being by your side_

_Dear sister, please don't blame me_

_I only did what I thought was truly right_

_It's a long and lonely road, when you know you walk alone_

My siblings, Connor, Travis, Chris and all of my cousins, I am sorry. I dragged you into a war in which many lost their lives. I know I can't make it up to you, but for all it is worth, I'm sorry. I believed I was alone, I had no mother, a father who ignored me and siblings who did not understand me, I know now that I was never alone, not then, now that I am truly alone in a crowd.

_If I could hold back the rain, would you numb the pain?_

'_Cause I remember everything._

_If I could help you forget, would you take my regrets?_

'_Cause I remember everything._

Can anyone numb the pain I feel?

_I feel like running away_

_I'm still so far from home_

_You say that I'll never change_

_But what the fuck do you know?_

_I'll burn it all to the ground before I let you in_

_Please forgive me, I can't forgive you now._

_I remember everything._

I ran away, I ran to Kronos, I thought that if the gods were gone, then my problems would be gone too. I believed that the Titans were my only chance at this. I know many of you hate me and believe that all I deserve is punishment and not forgiveness. I don't even think that I deserve it. I just want you to know that I remember everything that I did and I regret it all.

_If I could hold back the rain, would you numb the pain?_

'_Cause I remember everything._

_If I could help you forget, would you take my regrets?_

'_Cause I remember everything._

Just know that I do remember.

_It all went by so fast;_

The war was over so fast, I congratulate you for that, all of you were amazing.

_I still can't change the past_

_I always will remember everything_

I can't change what happened, even if I really want to.

_If we could start again,_

_Would that have changed the end?_

I assure you that if were able to go back to the beginning and start again, things would turn out differently. My choice was the wrong one, and if I could choose again, I would always choose differently.

_We remember everything._

We all remember what happened, nobody more than me.

_Everything._

**I hope you liked this, please review! (the button is right there)**

**Oh, and before I forget, the Mark of Athena was amazing. I loved the rivalry between Jason and Percy is so funny. Each really isn't used to another powerful demigod being around, Nico is hardly ever there and is too young, and Thalia is a Hunter and a girl so doesn't really contribute to a power-related feud. Jason and Percy, however, are both testosterone-fueled males unused to competition. The contest with when calling their steeds was funny.**


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